the sun isnt even up

but I am! Im never been a morning person. But when I was pregnant with Tzariel and now this time around at night I cannot go to sleep until late and then I wake up super early! Which makes me even more tired. Grr! Oh well. I guess more time in my day, maybe Ill get a nap in sometime! Today is going to be such a busy day! Ive got housework to do, have to go to the health dpt. and take stuff for WIC, also gotta go to Karis school and take stuff for the party. They asked me to bring chips. However Im going to take apples and grapes. I just feel like these kids are going to be getting enough junk/sweets, they will need a healthy snack too. Im contemplating on doing my hair today, it really needs it. its white looking. soo ugly lol. Also i need to go see amy, i miss her! and then we have trick or treating tonight to do but I have no idea where we are going to be doing it! I also need to try and call the midwifes Ive been trying to talk with. I just feel like there is so much to do and not enough time to do it in! But I need to get on the ball with it and get my first apt set up. I think until I do get a midwife picked out Im going to see the midwifes and OBs at AOG. Ive heard good and bad things about them, but I figure its good to have a backup in case I have to go to the hospital or having a midwife doesnt work out. I also actually have no idea what my expected due date is bc I dont remember at all when my last cycle was. So we are guessing june? Brandon is already getting on my nerves this morning. I feel like if i want anything done right I have to do it myself. its so annoying! I dont know what to do to make him less annoying. Well thats it for now have a lovely day!

bleh

So Im now wishing I didnt put on purfume this morning. I always do with no problem, but the morning sickness fairy is killing me, bc she visits all day not just in the morning. Im very excited bc I have gotten some responses from the midwifes I email on monday. Im hoping to set up apts. with them soon. Im very excited at the possibility of a homebirth and its what Im really hoping for. My friend colin (who doesnt know much about kids bc he has never really been around them) thought a midwife was like a call girl lol! He always makes me laugh when it comes to baby stuff. I still have so much on my mind about this baby. But im still so excited. I just am hoping this time around I feel alot better then I did with Tzariel. Oh and ive been told sevral times now that im either having a girl or twins, its funny. People really had me convinced I was having twins with tzariel because i was so big, well it was just him! I would have been in for such a suprise! Well Ive got to get ready for work now but maybe more tonight if Im feeling up to it. Ill leave you with a pic of me the day before I had Tzariel.

A healing homebirth

Wordless Weds. (almost)-this photo was entitied "healing homebirth"- i loved this quote to go with it "There is power that comes to women when they give birth. They don't ask for it, it simply invades them. Accumulates like clouds on the horizon and passes through, carrying the child with it." Sheryl Feldman

Buzz buzz buzz!

My mind is buzzing with so much information and plans as well as stress at the moment, Ive also had the song "prom queen" by little wayne in my head all day long. hey dont judge me, its a good song. Anyways. Over the weekend B and I got a wonderful surprise, we are having a another beautiful baby! We were both shocked and amazed! It wasn't planned this time but its still a great surprise. Ive been so excited about it. I feel like i finally get to put into motion all my plans for a natural birth. Im still afraid though, i thoroughly believe women (like myself) have been conditioned to be afraid of birth, and I want to take mine back. I know there is nothing I can do about the choices I made in the past, but i can learn from them and make the future better. It amazes me at what I have learned in the past year. Breastfeeding opened a door for me that I never knew existed. I breastfed my daughter simply because it seemed like the normal thing for me to do, its what my mom did and moma jane. With my son I knew I didnt want to circumcise him, ive always felt like it was unnecessary. I dont feel like there is ever a reason to strap a baby to anything, let alone cut off a part of his body. I truly believe he was born perfect and Im so glad I kept him whole. But breastfeeding with him opened up a new door for me. I started learning more about how healthy it was, and natural. And then a friend of mine, Ashley, led me to cloth diapers. I bought one pocket diaper to test it out, I wanted to make sure it was something i felt like I could handle before I made a commitment. Turns out I loved it! It also is so good for the environment, and it saves so much money. I watched the business of being born movie, that really changed things. I then realized that there are other options for birth! I never knew there were, it was very exciting. I plan on if possible having a home birth this time. I also know i want to do placenta encapsulation this time as well. I do have alot to share and some of the things Ive mention today just touch base. I created this blog months ago with the intent to start it and share all the info I wish i knew before having my two kids. Ive been unable to start it (writers block i guess?) But today i felt like it was a good time to start. I can start sharing and discovering things with my first natural birth. Im very excited. Also before i leave you for the night, Id like to say kudos to kaylene for helping me name my blog. It was a perfect suggestion!